What to do in a new world

I am a traveling man. Experiencing new places and the scenery and people integrated among them, has been a passion for as long as I can remember. I love being immersed in the unfamiliar – where every moment is raw and new. This passion has motivated me to make four separate trips to SE Asia, choose to live in a poor ethnically diverse apartment complex, and see what life is like without a vehicle.

On January 27 2013 I took a life changing trip. It was not a trip I willingly chose. This was a trip dictated by adverse weather and my vulnerability when such conditions arrived.

After the crash, and coming out of the coma 7 weeks later, I found myself in a new world. I immediately noted the numbness and inability to move my legs. When I became oriented to the date I freaked out. I had two weeks before my first fire assignment of the year. I was suppose to train as a crew boss in North Carolina by taking out a type 2 crew.

A few days later in became apparent this wouldn’t be possible and I had bigger priorities, like learning to walk again, to address.

After I left the hospital, I found the same home, restaurants, and movie theaters to be barely recognizable. I was seeing everything with a new lens. Tall curbs may as well be barb wire fences. I relied on a series of tools to make integration in this new world possible. The wheelchair, walker, cane, and various braces have made this possible. With the eye and passion of a photographer, I decided to artistically capture my experience in this new world that few can truly relate to.

Check out my series/board to this end on Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/lanelamoreaux/art-out-of-accidents/

Brotherhood

 

Sorry it’s been such a spell.  I know you are all hanging on every word to dribble out of my face hole and onto my keyboard.

Prepare for dribble.

I hope some of you have liked the little Latin notes that appear from time to time.  If you get any others, please share them.  I have mentioned more than once our fine sister firefighters.  In fact one of the finest FF I have ever worked with was a female.  I’m 6’5’’ and 240 lbs.  My wife was somewhat concerned that she might not be able to pull me out.  I can assure you, what she lacked in weight and strength, she more than made up for in skill and determination.  She would NEVER leave a fellow behind.  I consider myself honored to have worked with her.  Beck’s, this is a shout out to you.

Beauty From Pain

I promised at the beginning that I would keep this family friendly.  That will remain the case, and I have purposely kept things as l light as possible, and that shall remain the case.

Let’s face some hard facts, though.  What we do is ugly and often tragic.  How many out there really know what we do?  Do they understand why we wake up to phantom pages, in my case even driving to the station?  Raise your hand if you’ve done that one.  Who understands why we end up curled up on the floor or have smells or sights that bring back the uglies?

We all have our stories and I make an honest effort to keep it as such.  But this is for the families of those we left behind.  It is also for those that have been down on us as a profession.

Let’s put a face on our job.  Not a badge, not a helmet, not the sexy men and women on the calendar (Mr. July here).  But a real human face.

When asked how and why I kept doing this job, these are a few of the reasons.  I can see through the ugly and the pain and see the beauty and dignity.

What started out as a beautiful day in the summer remained so, weather wise,  No so for the fine citizens of our fair burg.  At noon we ran a fatal choking.  22 year old female.  Just after getting the paperwork done, we get called to a rollover MVA ,unknown number of patients.  The scene was apocalyptic. It was as if you had taken a bunch of nice people and nice cars, put them in some cartoonish blender, an ACME, like Mr. Coyote would use for that infernal bird, then stuffed it all in some huge circus cannon and blew it out over a few hundred square yards.  Cars, people, parts of cars, parts of people.  Not unknown patients.  9 patients.  We lost 4.  Not a great day.

And as is my right to do, I shall go off for a minute.  Like I said, get yer own blog and you can go off all you like.  My ex-wife was an ER nurse.  I worked closely with all ER personnel shoulder to shoulder, and then as a medical officer, all the other interaction.  I have the utmost respect for them and the job they do.  But here is the thing.  When I would deliver a patient to the ER, they got a patient that was stable, splinted if necessary, airway if necessary, bleeding controlled, full c-spine, vitals, history, MOI, IV, etc.  It is a whole other world to see this in situ.  I have always and will always, encourage, all ED personnel to spend as many hours in the field as possible.  Not better, not a competition, just an eye opener.

We made it through the night, mostly.  At 0630 a call came in.  MVA, multiple vehicles, unknown patients.  We roll up and find a car that had been t-boned by some old heavy metal, had lifted off the ground and spun through the air, landing upright on all four tires, a conservative 150’ away, in the middle of a new crop.  On arrival, we found two 17 year old female patients.  They looked like they had just been knocked 150’.  Car was destroyed, extrication gear had to be deployed, but had to be hauled out.  No time.  Doors were ripped off by hinges, bodily.  I ended up leaning through the front missing windscreen and holding an airway open and providing c-spine protection as my partner did a surgical airway on her.  We got the tube in and got her and her friend loaded into the helos for trans.  On RTB, I made a call to the U.  She of course could tell us nothing, due to HIPA, even though I was an officer and known to her.  Sad.  She died on the table.  17 years old, whole life ahead of her, and in a split second, gone.

I mentioned beauty out of pain.  In this little girl’s last moments, she was not alone.  She did not die in a cold cocoon of twisted steel and plastic.  She died in the hands and the care or real caring, real people.  Not cold, uncaring professionals.  She died in the hands of humans with warmth and compassion.

Beauty from pain.

I will only bore you with one more.  A 6 year old that died at the hands of those in whom his delicate life had been trusted.  In the worst way.  My patient.  My call.  My little boy.  He died.  Later, a good friend told me of the kindness that happened to him when he had his first son.  A nice woman came in and gave him a blanket.  It was given on the anniversary of her grandsons’ death.  We’re standing in the kitchen having a beer and we both start getting chills.  More questions.  More confirmation.  My Godson received the blanket made in honor of the child that was my patient.

Beauty from pain.

We all have our own stories.  But each is a side of humanity.  Each of our careers, ours.  Our lives?  Ours.  We hurt.  We live.  We love.  We cry.  We are the faces that reach out to take your hand as it gropes for help in the darkness.  We are human.  These things we choose.  These things we do.  This is our choice so that others may live.

canis ignis   

Response to What If You Are Taken Off Duty By an Off Duty Incident

This is in response to a blog by one of our brothers that was injured off duty.  Under normal conditions, I would simply offer a comment or let others do so.  But I think this is far more reaching, than would be justified by a normal comment.

Lets give it a shot.