What if you’re taken out of duty for things that happened off duty?

For over a year I’ve been getting around in a wheelchair and later progressing to a walker, crutches, and cane. When I’m sporting a fire shirt onlookers seem to correlate the two. When a conversation ensues I often sense a feeling of universal disappointment when I admit this happened to me recreationally – because of my own choices.

I wish that weren’t the case. I wish my injuries somehow happened for the good of others. I wish I broke my leg so someone else didn’t have to break there’s.

How does one reconcile the loss of a passion, camaraderie, and a career with a desire to remain a part of that group. Do you simply proceed to the exit and fade into obscurity?
I would love nothing more than to suit up again, hit the ground, and swing a tool with my bros. Right now other things take precedence though. Like, how am I going to get groceries with both hands committed to crutches or how am I going to get my shoes on if I’m unable to reach my feet.

We are told that these are the times that test us – the times that reveal our true character. That idea, and the myriad quotes about staying positive do nothing to make this easier. I can only guarantee one thing – I will not give up.